Instances
by yamimitsukai
Summary: Instances are moments in time. Some are bad, some are good, and some no one is really sure about. Chapter 3- Why Itachi murdered his clan
1. Chapter 1

**Hey everybody! I'm back again, only this time it's a humorous Naruto fic… shocking, I know. Before anyone complains, this is more of an AU, so the scenes shown will have other commentary than the actual anime or manga. First up are Naruto and Mizuki. **

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Naruto was sitting on the swing right outside of Konoha's Ninja Academy. Out of the twenty-seven kids in the class, the blonde haired, bright blue eyed, clad in a orange jumpsuit boy was the only who didn't pass the graduating exam for becoming genins in the ninja career. Currently, Naruto was wondering why some people, like Sakura- chan and Shikamaru would want to become ninjas. It was a job that required killing, violence, work, and near death situations. Sakura-chan hated getting dirty and despised hurting anybody, unless it was Naruto. Shikamaru was just way to lazy.

Naruto sighed and pushed his swing back and forth. He heard two women saying something about it was good that he didn't pass, and tuned them out. Everyone the entire village of Konohagakure **(is that the official name?)** hated Naruto, although he did not why. Naruto would ask the Hokage-jiji but he would always avoid the question.

Naruto felt a hand on his shoulder and stared up at his sensi, Mizuki. He had blue hair, cold eyes, and a maniacal laugh. Naruto had heard him laugh when he passed the teacher's lounge one afternoon, laughing to himself. Naruto privately thought that Mizuki should be put in a mental institute.

"Naruto. I'm sorry you didn't pass. Can I talk to you private?" The blue haired man said. Naruto stared at him, or more specifically, his hair. Why did so many citizens have such weird hair color and hair styles?

All around Konoha, a bunch of ninja and wanna-be ninjas sneezed.

Mizuki waved a hand in front of Naruto's face when he did not respond. The damn brat was staring at his hair! Why would the brat being staring at his beautiful, shampoo and conditioned everyday, brushed a hundred times every night hair? Mizuki knew it was gorgeous hair, but still! Mizuki started punching Naruto's shoulder to get his attention. That didn't even work so Mizuki pushed him off the swing. Naruto finally paid some attention.

"What were you saying Mizuki-sensi?" Naruto asked. Mizuki looked at him, opened his mouth, closed it, got a sheepish expression and opened his mouth again. All in a matter of one point six seconds. Naruto stared at him again.

"I forgot. But come with me to the balcony." Naruto shook his head no, but Mizuki had already grabbed him to take him to this balcony.

As they sat down in front of the sunset, Naruto could have sworn that it was supposed to be around four in the afternoon, not six and was that water spraying around? Whatever, Mizuki had remembered what he was going to say to Naruto.

"Naruto, there is a secondary exam you can take if fail the first one. It is much harder though." Naruto looked excited.

"What do I have to do?" Mizuki looked at him seriously.

"You……have……to……steal…..the 'insert dramatic pause here' Overly large Scroll of Secret and Forbidden Techniques!" Naruto stared at him even more.

"Isn't it forbidden?"

"Uh…no."

"But you said forbidden."

"That's just the name."

"Oh."

"Yeah."

"So…..you want me to steal a large scroll?"

"Yup. From the Hokage's office. And you can't let anyone catch you."

"So. In order to pass a genin exam...I have to break into the Hokage's office to steal a scroll?"

"Didn't we already go over this?"

"Do I really have to?" Mizuki was shocked.

"I thought you wanted to be Hokage? You can't be Hokage if you can't be a genin."

"Really. Why can't I can't until next year's exam?"

"Uh…Because I'll buy you ramen after?"

"Alright I'm doing it! Where, when, why, and how?"

"Meet me in the forest clearing, at one in the morning, to be a genin, and just steal the scroll, dammit!"

"Ok, ok, calm down. As long as I get ramen after this!" Mizuki nodded absolutely positive that Naruto would not be alive to even make a dent in his wallet. Student and teacher both separated ways: one to plan how to get a ridiculously sized scroll and the other to make sure his oddly colored hair was perfect.

**Hours later**

Naruto had taken the oversize from the Hokage's tower and was currently practicing the first jutsu on the scroll.

_Kagebushin no jutsu- _A cloning technique that makes shadow copy of the user. This can attack and do most of what the user can do. Takes a lot of chakra and may kill user if making too many. _Side note- _use for paperwork! _Signed Yondiame._

Naruto shrugged at the last part and started working on the jutsu.

**Hours later**

Iruka was running through the forest. Mizuki had come earlier saying that Naruto had stolen the Overly large Scroll of Secret and Forbidden Techniques and every available ninja above chunin rank was looking around the village. Of course, Iruka knew that Naruto would go to the forest, only because he had left a note in his apartment stating it. Iruka sighed remembering the note.

_To who ever the hell is reading this note:_

_I am here in the forest. _

~_Naruto_

_P.S. Mizuki owes me ramen for making me get that scroll! _

Trust Naruto to not the meaning of subtlety. Whatever.

In a few minutes, Iruka had found Naruto with the huge scroll. He was covered with leaves, dirt, and who knows what else and was reading from the scroll. He then looked up at Iruka.

"Hi Iruka-sensi! Are you here instead of Mizuki to pass me?"

"What are you talking about?"

"Mizuki-sensi said that if I stole the Overly large Scroll of Secret and Forbidden Techniques he would get me ramen. And make me a genin, but I want ramen!"

Iruka stared at Naruto.

"You are obsessed with ramen, you know that?" Naruto grinned.

"I know!"

"…."

"So do I pass?"

"BWUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!" a new voice entered the forest clearing. Naruto and Iruka both stared at the new arrival.

"Mizuki?" "Mizuki-sensi?" Mizuki had come with weapons, a mirror, and of course, his trusty comb.

Naruto stared at Mizuki, or more specifically, his hair. It looked extremely shinny, and had _sparkles_ in it. A nonexistent breeze suddenly came and lifted Mizuki's hair up in a dramatic way. Silence fell in the clearing.

"So. Iruka you got here before I did."

Silence.

"Hey Naruto, do you want to know why everyone hates you?"

"Um…sure?"

Silence from Iruka who was still staring at Mizuki's hair.

"It…is...because…" dramatic pause "you are"

"NO! Mizuki, you can't tell him!" Iruka had finally broken out of his stupor.

"Why not?" Mizuki and Naruto asked.

"Because it's forbidden." Naruto pouted.

"But I want to know!"

"Very well! You are-"

"NO!"

"The!"

"NO!"

"Kyuubi no kitsune!"

"NO!"

"YES!"

"NO!"

"YES!" Mizuki looked at Naruto to see him………asleep?

"WHAT THE HELL!?!?!?! I go through all of the trouble to tell him and he falls asleep!" Mizuki shouted. Naruto woke up.

"Mizuki-sensi, are you taking for ramen yet?"

"NO! Now die!!!!!!" Mizuki threw his overly large shruiken at Naruto. Naruto dodged.

"Wait, why?"

"Because you are the Kyuubi no Kitsune!" Mizuki shouted.

"But I'm not a giant fox with nine tails. I'm not even red." Mizuki stopped to think about that.

"Well, I guess you are right. But still! You hold the Kyuubi no kitsune!"

"So, I am like a giant Tupperware?"

"What?"

"Well you said I contain the Kyuubi no kitsune, so I am like a human Tupperware?" Iruka seemed surprised that Naruto was so calm about it. Mizuki was confused and angry that he couldn't have the scroll.

"Give me the scroll!" Naruto stared at him.

"But I still have to show you my technique and you still have to buy me ramen."

"Give me the scroll!"

"Buy me ramen!"

"Scroll!"

"Ramen!"

"Die!" Mizuki picked up his last shruiken and threw it at Naruto, except he missed and hit Iruka on the target on his back who had turned his back to Mizuki to look at something. Naruto picked up the shruiken and looked at Mizuki.

"You hit Iruka-sensi!"

"So? Are you going to try and kill me now demon?"

"But I'm a human!"

"Demon!"

"Do I look like a demon to you!?" Mizuki covered his ears and closed his eyes and started singing at the top of his voice.

"I CAN'T HEAR YOU! I CAN'T HEAR YOU!" Naruto got frustrated so he threw Mizuki's shruiken back at him. His aim was a little off and it cut off a side of Mizuki's blue hair.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!" and Mizuki fainted. Naruto looked at him in interest and took his wallet.

"I still want ramen." He said to Mizuki's prone form. Iruka woke up and gave Naruto his hitate and went to have ramen using Mizuki's money. Both of them were very happy. And Naruto completely forgot everything Mizuki said as he inhaled his precious ramen.

**End**

**Well, how was it? It probably wasn't very funny, but I am going to try and improve next chapter. I'll update soon, so none of the update soon crap. **


	2. Chapter 2

**Yo! I'm back with chapter 2! Woot… Anyways, just note that in this fic, each chapter is a one shot. **

**I own no characters in this fic, except maybe Aikido. She is my OC that has no real importance to the story. The characters belong with respective owners. **

**In this chapter, we go in the past of the Naruto series and find out why Kyuubi attacked Konoha!**

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It was a perfect sunny day in the great ninja village known as Konoha. And by prefect sunny day, that meant miserable, raining, cold weather in the month of October. The blonde Yondiame Hokage already knew that something on this day, October 10, was going suck. However, he should be celebrating: his wife was in labor right now to give birth to their first child. He had left her with the Tsunade, a great medical ninja, and her team of doctors. Minato Namikaze **(is that right)** was avoiding his wife, lest he have a few broken bones from the violent Kunochi. He was excited; he was going to be a father! And he would teach his kid the fine points of life, like ramen! Bless the Holy Ramen! How could anyone not like it was a mystery to him.

"MINATO! GET YOUR ASS IN HERE RIGHT NOW SO I CAN BREAK YOUR HAND!" his wife, Kushina Uzumaki, yelled, shaking the foundations of the hospital. Everyone in a two mile radius winced and felt sorrow for their wonderful Yondiame hokage. Minato paled and took very small steps towards his wife's room, and his doom. In fact, he was taking such small steps that a person walking normally would gone through the door in ten seconds, Minato was still less than a quarter of the way there in ten minutes.

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Kyuubi looked at the time on his digital clock and saw that it was two p.m. Demons were way more advanced then the humans, technology wise. He looked at the calendar again and at the phone in his hand. His sister kitsune, Aikido, had just called him. She was getting married today to that kitsune thief, Kurama. And their wedding was all the way in Snow Country and he was at the bottom of Fire Country. Now, how was he supposed to get over two hundred miles to his sister's wedding in exactly four hours or else have all of his fur shaved off, burned, stabbed, stuffed through a grater somehow, get chopped by a blender and then have his eyes stabbed out if he did not make it in time? He had no idea. His best bet would be going in his full demon form to achieve maximum speed, and pray to Kami, Satan, whoever, that he made it in time.

Kyuubi set off running as fast as he could towards Snow Country. Unfortunately, he did not remember that there is a village in his path.

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Minato was almost to the door. The evil door that would mean his demise, his premature death, the one with his wife behind it just waiting to break him into pieces. Minato did not want to die! Chibi Minato began to cry. His hand slowly reached for the handle, trembling slightly.

"Yondiame Hokage! Sensi! Sensi!" a silver gravity defying hair young boy came running towards him, and forgot to stop effectively crashing into Minato away from the door.

"OOF! KAKASHI! What are you doing?" Hatake Kakashi was fourteen years old with a mask and head band covering most of his face. In fact, the only part of his face that could be seen was his right eye. Trying to see under his mask meant one was his enemy and any techniques were acceptable in defending his mask. That included Chidori, a lightening based assassination attack that was deadly to receiving end. That poor man in the hospital may never come out. That's what Tsunade said anyways.

"Sensi, there is a hundred foot giant, red fox with nine tails coming straight for the village! And I don't think he's here for a social visit!"

"Are you sure? It's really quite hard to tell these days whose here for a social visit or not."

"….I'm sure sensi." Minato turned to walk back to his study to find a way to seal a demon. Because demons can't be killed, or so the stories say. Kakashi stopped him.

"Where do you think you are going sensi? You have to see your wife." Minato gulped.

"Ah, maybe later?" Kakashi grinned. Using hand seals for a very special and deadly technique discovered by Tsunade, Kakashi ended his hands in a tora seal. Minato screamed and ran into the room, before Kakashi could execute his move: the deadly Thousand Years of Pain. It was a much too horrible technique to discus. The doctors and his wife all looked up at the intrusion.

"There you are Minato! Finally! I am assuming that Kakashi found you? Now you need to sit right here and hold your wife's hand. She is in a lot of pain right now and you need to be here to support her!" Tsunade said.

About an hour later….

"Congratulations Minato, Kushina, you have a baby boy! What are you going to name him?" Minato and Kushina looked at each other, the later holding a golden haired beautiful looking baby boy.

"We are going to name him Ramen! After the greatest food in the world!"

"We are not going to name our son after noodles! We shall call him Dango!"

"Ramen!"

"Dango!"

"Ramen!"

"Dango!"

"How about Naruto?" Tsunade injected before things could get violent, and someone would be in tears…namely Minato. The two parents looked at each other.

"Ok!" They agreed. Naruto smiled and began to laugh. Then Kakashi ran in the hospital room.

"Sensi! The fox here and he is destroying the village! OMG! Is that a baby? Give me! I want to hold! Can I be Uncle Kashi? Hi, baby. How are you? You're so cute!" squealed Kakashi. Everyone in the room sweat dropped as Kakashi stole Naruto from Kushina and bounced around the room with Naruto in his arms. Minato and Kushina looked at each other, again.

"Did our kid just get kidnapped?" Kushina asked.

"In a weird way, yes." Kushina nodded and grinned manically before jumping off the bed and somehow getting a frying pan in her hand.

"GIVE ME BACK MY CHILD KAKASHI!"

A few bumps and bruises later found Kakashi having a tantrum in the corner with a smiling and happy Kushina with Naruto who was still grinning. Minato was all for a party, until he remembered the fox. _Damn Fox. Now I can't have a party!_

"I need to look the list of seals to find out how to stop the fox." Minato announced.

"Ok. We'll be in here, partying without you." Kushina said. Minato gasped.

"Why!? Why without me!?"

"Because you need to stop the fox!"

"….fine…" Minato left and the doctors, Tsunade, Kakashi, Kushina, and Naruto partied while the rest of the village was being destroyed. Someone brought five packs of beer and everyone was having a good time.

_Meanwhile_-

Minato was looking through the list of seals and finally found one that had the highest chance of working. The Seal-that-seals-a-demon-into-an-infant-using-the-shinigami-and-kills-the-user-as-well. Minato just called it the _Shiki Fujin _because the new name sounded cool.

However, the only infant available was Naruto, and Kushina would probably murder Minato if he even suggested using Naruto as a sacrifice. Minato decided to sneak inside the hospital room and 'kidnap' his child from his mother. It would be risky.

When Minato came to the hospital room, he saw disco lights, heard very loud dancing music, and someone gulping a drink. Minato slowly opened the door and found the doctors dancing the CHACHA, Tsunade and Jiraiya were having a drinking game and playing poker at the same time, thank god it wasn't strip poker, Kakashi had Naruto and was spinning in very fast circles, since he wasn't allowed to drink beer yet, and Kushina was dancing near an open window with a can of beer in her hands.

Minato gasped. Kushina did not have the best balance in the village; in fact, she had no balance at all. And when she got drunk, it was significantly worse.

"My BEER!" Kushina cried as it fell out the window. She followed it down four stories headfirst. Let's just say that Minato now knew that Naruto was going to be an orphan. Unless the Shinigami spared him for some completely stupid reason. Minato was in shock, but no one else seemed to know what happened.

"Kakashi." Said teenager turned to his sensi.

"Oh, hi sensi. Naruto and I were having fun. Isn't that right little Naru? You like Uncle Kashi best, right?" He cooed at the infant. Naruto smiled. Minato took Naruto from Kakashi arms and told him to close the window afterwards. Taking Naruto with him, Minato went outside the hospital and heard screams, yells of bloody murder, and for some reason, "ITACHI! WHERE THE HELL DID YOU LEARN HOW TO STEAL FROM PEOPLE? YOU'RE ONLY FIVE!" _Huh, so the Uchiha clan does have faults! I knew they weren't all perfect like they claim to be!_

Whipping out a piece of paper, Minato wrote down this new discovery and then placed it under a rock to keep it in place. He then proceeded to where the fox was with Naruto still in his arms.

3412879413287938-493287-Scene Break!

Kyuubi was running as fast as his four legs would take him. _I've got to make it, I've got to make it_, was his mantra. After twenty minutes of running, his keen eyesight saw the village of Konoha. _Oh shit. I hope they know I'm just passing through. Well, they should considering I'm not attacking them…_

"**Katon Goukakyuu no Jutsu!" ****a voice called before a giant fireball came and hit Kyuubi on the nose. He sneezed to get the residing ash out of his nose and a bunch of shinobi came racing shouting jutsus, performing hand seals, using swords, removing weights, and more. **

**"He growled! He's attacking! Everyone hit the demon with your best attacks!" **

**_Oh shit_**** thought Kyuubi. ****_Now I know I'm going to be late._**

**"Excuse me; I'm just trying to get through. I have to get to Snow Country…Yeah…Stop attacking me already!****" Kyuubi said. Unfortunately for him, nobody listened to him and everyone continued to attack him. ****_Maybe if I shake the ground a little, I can move fast enough to get away._**** One of his tails hit the ground and created an earthquake. The shinobi continued attacking though as most of them had jumped in the air. **

**_Damn. Ok…now what? _**

**"Suiton Daibakufu no Jutsu!"**** a voice called from behind Kyuubi. Kyuubi jumped to the left and dodged in incoming tidal wave. **

**"He can create tsunamis!" Hurry people, take him down!" **

**"****I CAN'T CREATE TSUNAMIS! I MAY BE A NINE-TAILED FOX, BUT STILL!" **

**"****He's growling again! Prepare yourselves!"**

**"The Yondiame Hokage is here!" **

**"We're saved!" **

**"Hurray!" **

**All of a sudden a giant frog popped up from smoke that came from nothing. **

**"****Gambanta? What the hell are you doing here?" ****Kyuubi asked. **

**"****I'm figuring that out myself. I was on my way to go to your sister's wedding. Speaking of which, why aren't you there?"**

**"I met up with these folks."**

**"Oh. Apparently they think you are destroying them."**

**"Gama-boss! Take me closer to the Fox!" a human male voice shouted. **

**"****Alright. Don't do anything stupid."**** As Gama jumped towards Kyuubi, a tree branch got in his way and scratched his eye. **

**"****OW!"**

**"Clumsy as always, Gama."**

**"Oh. Shut up. I at least stay out of trouble more than you. I mean look at the mess you are in now!"**** Kyuubi ignored him. Finally the toad and human on his head were five feet away from Kyuubi. **

**"****Ah, look, mortal, I've got somewhere to be in about two and a half hours or else I die. Could you possibly let me pass as I am not invincible?"**

**142789332-Scene Change**

**Minato was not scared. No, he wasn't. A giant fox was just in front of him which apparently had the ability to create earthquakes and tsunamis with no energy required. Nope, not scared. Okay, he was terrified. But who wouldn't be! **

**_Somewhere down below:_**

**"ITACHI! Stop petting the demon's fur! Come here and babysit your brother!" **

**_Back to demon level:_**

**Minato told Gama to go closer to the Fox and Minato heard the fox speak. **

**"Mortal die! I am invincible!"**** That Fox was pure evil! Setting down Naruto so he could do the hand seals, Minato started the jutsu. **

**"Shiki Fujin!" A bright white light enveloped the threesome, foursome if you count Naruto, and then narrowed down and took shape of an abnormal being. It was quite tall, had bony arms and legs and falling apart wings. All at once the figure became definite. Its face was pale and the rest of its body was black. And it was eating an apple. Minato looked the supposed Shinigami. **

**"Eh, why am I here? I only come if I dropped my book….I don't think I have since that whole Yagami Light thing. Eh? Who the hell are you? And why is there a Nine-tailed Fox, A giant Toad smoking, and a human with a baby all here?" **

**Minato coughed. "Um, can you seal this demon up into this infant, Shinigami-sama?" **

**The Shinigami looked at Minato. "Oh, sure. Call me Ryuk." A snap of his fingers and Kyuubi was sucked into another light which took him directly in an alternate dimension shaped as a prison maze in Naruto's stomach. Then Ryuk left. Minato looked dazed. **

**"That was weird. Alright Gama-Boss, I'm done now." **

**"Alright kid. See ya later."**** With a poof, Gama dispelled himself. Minato grabbed Naruto as he fell. "STUPID TOAD! WAIT TILL I AM CLOSER TO THE GROUNDDDDDDDDD!!!!!!!!!" Holding Naruto protectively in his arms, Minato hot the ground from over a hundred feet and died. Naruto was still smiling. Shinobi came running towards the now deceased hokage and found Naruto. **

**"Look, it's a demon!" Itachi said randomly popping up pointing at Naruto. His mom always called him demon anyways. The shinobi gasped. **

**"That's right! It must be the demon transformed!"**

**"Let's hate his existence!" **

**"Yeah!" Itachi smirked. His evil plotting for today was done. Now to find a way to torture his little brother…The newly reinstated Sandiame hokage was depressed. Now he had to go back to doing paperwork. He picked Naruto and went to the hospital. There he found a drunken Tsunade, Jiraiya, and five doctors and a knocked out Kakashi from apparently running into the wall next to the open window. He looked down at Naruto and found him still smiling. He was officially terrified of this day, October 10. Apparently it was like an evil day. **

**The next morning, shinobi and villagers were cleaning up the mess left by the fight. No one really was killed, except for those idiots who decided to run in the forest at night with no light. But there was lots of damage. **

**There were seven people who had major hangovers. Tsunade, Jiraiya, and the nameless five doctors. Kakashi had a bruise on his face from the wall, Kushina was found dead outside the hospital, the Yondiame hokage was dead, baby Naruto would not stop smiling, Itachi was going to the dark side, his younger brother Sasuke was going clinically insane and was only four months old, and the Sandiame was seeing a psychologist. The entire village hoped to overcome this major disaster from the giant fox. **

**43984y328957839247Scene Change-**

**Kyuubi was confused. But he was happy. Somehow he was in a prison cell with pipes. Why pipes? But, he reasoned that his murderous sister and thieving soon-to-be husband would not find him here, wherever he was. Kyuubi decided to sleep. **

**463072640732Scene Change- **

**Aikido was furious. Where was her younger brother? Oh he was so going to die, even though they were immortal for missing her wedding. But Kurama was here with her and soon they would be going on their honeymoon to Las Vegas. They were going to make a fortune there and live in a mansion after that. Life was good even though her brother was not here to be her punching bag. Oh well, can't have everything is what the quote says. **

**The End**

**Hey, hope you guys enjoyed that. It's my take on what happened. Even though I know that never could happen. Like my Death Note crossover? Not much, but Ryuk is my second favorite character in Death Note apart from L. And a Yu Yu Hakusho mention. Kurama is my favorite character. Till next time! **


	3. Chapter 3 Uchiha Massacre

**Hey everybody! It's been a while since I updated ****Instances!**** Ehm…Sorry about that. Well, nonetheless, here is a new chapter. Hopefully you guys find it funny! **

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October 9, in some year in the beautiful village of Konoha. Everyone was content, peaceful, calm, and in no way plotting some evil way to drive a younger brother insane, get past extremely strict parents to go to a party, and hide the fact that there is a dead body in a closet. Except one Itachi Uchiha, the thirteen year old self-proclaimed prodigy of the Uchiha clan, captain of the ANBU group, rebellious teenager, homicidal maniac (although no one knows….), bipolar, and extremely girly looking. He was currently plotting some way to get to a really big party down in Rain Country held by some group called the Akatsuki. He had gotten an invite last week and thinking about some way to get past his parents and make his little brother, Sasuke's, life miserable. Wasn't that what all thirteen year old older brothers did?

Also, he had a dead body in his closet. It was of his friend or cousin, Shisui Uchiha. Itachi chuckled darkly at the thought of his deceased cousin.

"Now how can I achieve the following goals?" He said pulling out a list. On the top in big bold letters, with flowers around as a border, it said Itachi's Goals For Today. On the list in flowing cursive, were five goals:

1. Torment Sasuke

2. Go to party

3. Find some way to hide dead body not in his closet

4. Be rebellious to Tou-san and Kaa-san

5. Torment Sasuke

He studied the list with a smirk growing on his face. He knew just what to do.

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Somewhere else in the village, inside a strange dome shaped building that said Academy, a young boy with dark hair in shape of a duck's ass, was throwing shruiken at a doll. The reason he could do this, was because he was at a ninja academy where a whole bunch of little kids got sharp weapons to throw at things. No one ever really wondered why there were only two teachers left in the Academy.

Anyways, the duck ass hair dude, whose name was Sasuke, was throwing pointed metal stars at a tree. There were other children around him who were throwing the shuriken as well, but most of them were missing their trees. In fact, one hyperactive blonde boy in an orange jumpsuit kept throwing his metal stars at the blue haired teacher, Mizuki. Of course it was just an accident that most of the whiskered child's shuriken kept trimming the instructor's hair. Sasuke suddenly shivered as tingling feeling went down his spine. For some odd reason, he had the feeling that he shouldn't go home tonight. Not that he would listen to his feelings, though because Kaa-san was making cookies!

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Later on that night, Sasuke came home near midnight because that blonde haired, whiskered, clad in an orange jumpsuit, and is a prankster had mocked his famous Uchiha-glare which Sasuke had learnt from his older brother. Naruto, the orange wearing ninja-wannabe, had proclaimed that his glare made him look like there was a stick up his butt and was constipated. So of course, Sasuke had to go beat him up. Because that is what people do when they are the top student in the class and then the said person gets mocked at. They beat the offender up. It had taken him nearly six hours to find the said offender and catch him to finally give him one punch before the prankster began laughing and running away again, and starting the whole chase over again, but whatever! Sasuke looked up to the sky as he walked home. He glanced at the moon as was surprised to see it full. 'Wasn't it a full moon last week?' He had looked down again and didn't see the person crouching precariously on a thin wooden post way up in the air.

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Itachi was having fun. He had put Shisui's body in Sasuke's closet, therefore freeing me of all blame and had stolen his father's beer. He loved beer. Now for the second part of his awesome plan. It was time to play Piñata with a stick and hit random people with it. Itachi had found a stick in his room that was shinny and metal looking and had a sharp point. So, he walked out into the Uchiha compound and starting hitting people while laughing maniacally. People left and right fell down from being hit by his stick.

Itachi then jumped onto a wooden pole way up in the air, and looked around swaying dangerously from the beer. He saw his little brother walking below him a grinned. He should jump on him! Itachi jumped from the pole but miscalculated. Instead of landing on his brother, he broke through the roof of his house and landed on his dad.

"Whoops!" Itachi slurred. "I forgot to play Piñata with you two!"

"Itachi! Did you steal my beer again?" Fugato Uchiha, the clan head and father of Itachi and Sasuke exclaimed.

"So what if I did?" Itachi grinned.

"Itachi Uchiha! You are thirteen and no way old enough or responsible enough to drink yet!" Mikoto Uchiha, Itachi and Sasuke's mom shouted.

"Let's play Piñata!" Itachi cheered swinging his 'stick' and hitting his dad. His dad crumpled to the floor.

"Itachi put down the sword."

"It's a stick!"

"Sword!"

"Stick!"

"Swo- Ack!" Mikoto gasped as her son hit her with the 'stick'.

"Ok. I'm done playing." Itachi turned to go to get his bag and go to the big party when he saw his little brother standing in the doorway with shock on his face.

"Itachi! What did you do? You killed mom and dad!" Sasuke cried throwing a shruiken that somehow managed to circle around and scratch him on the shoulder. He then ran to punch Itachi and managed to run into the end of the sword. Itachi blinked and turned to walk away.

"I'm going to the party and no weak person is going to stand in my way!"

Sasuke being of selective hearing from the insanity inflicted on him from his brother, heard:

"You are weak and in my way!"

He then ran outside for no reason. Itachi had a bag over his shoulder and was walking away.

"Wait, nii-san!" Sasuke screamed. "Why did you it? Why did you destroy the entire clan?"

Itachi pulled an onion from inside his bag and immediately began to cry, but it did make him sober.  
"Because they called my hair girly and wouldn't let me go to the party. So I played Piñata with them." Itachi sent Sasuke a video through his mind using the Sharingan, the infamous kekai genkai, about him playing Piñata with the clan and left to go to Akatsuki for the big party.

Sasuke's elective hearing heard this:

"You are too weak. Hate me, and try to destroy me using these eyes by killing your best friend." Sasuke fell unconscious watching Itachi kill everyone over and over again. Sadly, Itachi forgot to turn off the repeat button in his mind when he sent the video to Sasuke. So the video kept playing over and over again until the memory ran out of energy. Which was three days later.

By that time, Sasuke was officially insane, although no one caught it, Itachi had gone to his party and somehow joined the group Akatsuki without remembering why from being to plastered, the Sandiame had even more reason to suspect that October 10 was the worst day in history, and an orange wearing blonde haired boy was secretly following a blue haired around throwing shruiken at his now messed up hairstyle.

End

**How was it? It seemed a bit too random, but hopefully people enjoy reading it. My next update probably won't take as long as it did to make this fic, but I make no promises. Until next time! **

**Key:**

**Tou-san= Father**

**Kaa-san= Mother **

**Sandiame= 3****rd**** hokage **


End file.
